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Marriage isn’t always sunshine and roses. It takes effort, communication, and a shared commitment, especially when things get messy. That’s why knowing how to talk to your partner during challenging times can make all the difference.
Jessica Koosed Etting, Founder & CEO of the family management app Jam; Dr. Zelana Montminy, a behavioral scientist and author, and Vice writer Ashley Fike recently shared four phrases that every couple should keep close when communication starts to break down. These aren’t your typical self-help slogans—they’re practical, grounded, and surprisingly powerful.
1.“Can you take the mental lead on this one?”
This phrase isn’t just about delegating tasks; it’s about shifting responsibility and trust. It’s especially useful when one partner feels stuck in the role of constant planner, reminder, and manager.
During an interview with PureWow on Sept. 5, Dr. Montminy explained that the phrase helps to maintain balance in the relationship, the key to a strong partnership.
“By asking your partner to take the mental lead, you’re not just delegating tasks; you’re shifting ownership. It signals: I trust you to carry this, not just execute it. That small shift in language can rebalance the mental load and create real partnership,” Dr. Montminy added.
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